


the safest way to go home

by sandyk



Series: rapture [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Blood, F/M, Gross injuries, Married Spideychelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:06:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27264706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Peter and MJ are married, juniors in college, and making it work! They can do it! (They can.)(reading the first part is pretty necessary.)
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: rapture [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989499
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fifteen





	the safest way to go home

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo spot Unreliable Narrator. Continued from Rather Chase the sun, does not make a lot of sense without that. No profit garnered, not mine. The poem on the mirror is What The Mirror Said by Lucille Clifton. MJ sings "aint nothing going on but the rent" by Gwen Guthrie. Title from Kristin Hersh's Home. Thank you A!!

As far as Peter could tell, MJ's mom did not understand her daughter at all, and really never had. He was in the living room, pretending he couldn't hear MJ and her mom in the kitchen. 

Technically he was using his super powers. All of his senses had been laser focused on MJ since sometime when he was fifteen, he could find her in a desert from thirteen dunes away. Peter smiled, like something MJ's sister said was funny. Rhodey had made the comment about thirteen dunes away, and it was sad, actually, because Rhodey had been thinking about when Tony was kidnapped. Now Tony was dead. Peter liked to repeat known facts, poking at his own scars. Tony was dead. 

When Peter woke up, reformed from dust, after six months of being gone, and then he had about five minutes total to talk to Tony and then watched him die, when that happened. He tried not to think about except for the constant intrusive thoughts when something reminded him of it. 

MJ was saying that Peter was definitely not taking advantage of her, and MJ's mom was saying that he certainly had in the past, then MJ disagreed and said her mom was distorting everything that had happened in high school. MJ's mom countered with how was she supposed to know, MJ never told her anything and she had to figure it out. MJ put down whatever bowl she was holding and that was loud enough Peter and MJ's sister turned their heads. 

MJ said, "Okay, we're just going in circles and making each other miserable. Let's, for once, let's take a break. I'm going to go out there, and reset. When you're calm and I'm calm, we can start talking." She came out to the living room and sat right next to Peter. He took her hand and she grasped his, he pressed their hands into his thigh. 

MJ's sister said, "How're things?"

MJ inhaled and exhaled. Then she said, "Pretty good. I'm feeling good about this semester."

"Explain your major to me again," MJ's sister said.

"History and Science with a focus on technology, it's like, technology interacting with history and society. It's actually really depressing because people are awful and the things they make are even worse." She grinned. 

"What kind of jobs does that lead to?"

MJ shrugged. "It's a college degree, honors degree, so some kind of job, I bet."

MJ's sister laughed. "Okay, okay."

MJ's mom came out into the living room. She said, "Michelle, stop being a baby. You're acting like a child. Come back in the kitchen." 

"So we can keep yelling and sniping each other? No thanks," MJ said. 

"I'm not the one sniping or yelling," MJ's mom said. 

MJ's sister rolled her eyes and made a sound of disbelief. 

MJ stood up and Peter stood behind her, taking her hand again. "Mom. I'm not doing this anymore." She let go of Peter's hand and hugged her mother. "We're going now. I'll call you next week. I love you." 

Peter followed her right out the door, and got into the driver's seat. He turned on the car, his very nice top of the line Stark electric car only two years old. He waited for MJ to put on her seat belt. She was definitely holding back tears. She reached into her backpack and pulled out an orange pill bottle. "I'm just sleeping the whole ride home, okay?" 

He pulled out of the driveway. He patted MJ's thigh. "Whatever you want." 

She rolled her eyes and looked exactly like her sister. And her mother a little. Peter would never admit that. She said, "I've been reading a lot of these advice blogs. The kind that write very long personal essays, you know? At first, I was thinking of complaining about you, like, ugh, are we doomed but I love him." 

"Did you? I guess the advice would have been be honest and then take this quiz you should have taken before getting married ," he said. 

"I didn't. But I ended up getting into all the advice about family, clearly. So I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to set boundaries. I don't think that worked," MJ said. 

"It's just the first time," Peter said. "Takes a lot more tries to change things." 

MJ yawned. "Thanks, I love that." 

"I love you," he said. 

She rolled her eyes again as she adjusted the seat so she could sleep. He could tell when she fell asleep. 

He put on his music low. He hit traffic later than he thought he would. Nice, he thought. He put on his headset and called Ned. "I give thanks for you, man," Peter said. "How are you?"

"Good, good. It's so sunny here in LA, it's almost a little gross," Ned said. "How's the wife?"

"I hear the twist you're putting on it, but she's fine. She's asleep. Driving back to Boston right now. I thought we were spending the night at her mom's but that's not happening. I'm pretty happy about that."

"MJ's mom, not great," Ned said. "So you're happy?"

"Of course I am," Peter said. "Duh."

"Look, and I'd say this to her face which I might be since you only think she's asleep - I just worry you're so much more into this than her. You're a very whole hearted person," Ned said.

Peter rolled his eyes and said, "I know she's asleep, I can hear her breathing. She's whole hearted, too, she just doesn't express it the way you and I do." Peter tapped on the steering wheel. Then he said, "Okay, tell me about Cal Poly and your family in LA. Did you have actual turkey or something else?"

Then Ned wanted to talk about Peter's projects and that passed a good hour. Ned had to go so Peter called May. He explained that he was driving back to Boston today. May said, "Well, good for MJ. Her mom's a lot, I wouldn't want to stay, either. She's really asleep, right? I know she doesn't want to hear other people talking about her mother that way."

"No one believes I can tell my own wife is asleep, but I actually can," Peter said. 

"You like saying that word, huh?" May said, "You two seemed happy this time."

"So not a huge, reckless mistake?" Peter was smiling so he knew his tone wasn't too harsh.

"I never said that," May said. "I said reckless choice, but I didn't say mistake."

"No, that was MJ's mom, four hours ago," Peter said, sighing. 

"Hhhm," May said. "Well, if you two are here around Christmas, Happy and I have a guest room. It's always reserved for you."

"Sounds great, but again, have to check with MJ before committing."

"Smart," May said. "I can still think you were being reckless even if it's not at all a mistake."

"Sure," Peter said. "You know, MJ said I don't like the idea of love languages because I do all of them."

May said, "I think for some people it's a really useful way to look at things that can be very frustrating to understand. It's like, oh, they have a framework to see how the person they love interacts with them. It's just like anything, it doesn't work for everyone. It doesn't work for you. But nothing works for everyone."

Peter said, "You're right."

He finally got to Boston. He didn't park his car at Harvard Yard, but like he did every single time he parked the car, he thought of the stupid car commercial. He parked in the parking garage for the apartment. He managed to carry MJ, their phones and bags into the lobby. He could easily balance everything and even MJ didn't weigh a thing to him, but he still took the elevator. 

Peter set her down on the bed and unloaded everything else. He then shook MJ's shoulder lightly, said, "We're home."

He was washing his hands after using the bathroom when MJ came in and plopped down to pee. She said, "I think I'm going to sleep the rest of the day. Take that, mom."

He maneuvered around her as she washed her hands and then followed her back to the bed. He squatted by her backpack. MJ said, "Hey, wife, what were those pills you took? I'm gonna root around in your bag."

"I'm allowed to wonder," he said. 

"It's, um, xanax? Xanax-ish? I got it from the doctor at Student Services. Use as needed which is almost never unless my mother is involved, or I have to fly. Why do I get nervous flying? I don't know, Peter," MJ said. "Going back to sleep."

He rearranged her hair and tucked her in. He really loved that he was able to and actually expected to take care of her. 

Sunday evening, as they were both putting together their plans for the rest of the week, Peter remembered to mention May's offer. 

"What kind of room? Bunk beds are not -"

"It's an actual queen sized bed and some empty drawers," Peter said. 

"Okay, let's, um, next weekend. I will call my mom and we decide if we want to put up with her for any length of time," MJ said. 

They were back to school. They both had wild out of control schedules. They were definitely almost always in the same place from one a m to five a m but they both spent those four hours sleeping. Sometimes they had similar start up times and he could drive her to campus and they ate breakfast together, too. Sometimes they both ended at the same time and had dinner together. They could be ships passing some days. 

MJ had pinned a poem to the mirror for herself. Peter knew it wasn't for him. He wasn't a city, or a wonder, he didn't have a geography of his own. MJ was all those things. When they were both moving around the tiny bathroom, he would get distracted and just stare at her as she brushed her teeth and read that poem every day. 

Unlike MJ, Peter didn't hate half his fellow students. There were fewer legacies at his school. That had to help. Peter enjoyed his classes more than high school. Everything was challenging. Every year got harder, he loved that. 

He didn't connect with people. Not like MJ or Ned did, he just had a lot of friendly acquaintances. No one even really had a reaction when he was suddenly married. 

"I'm being morose," he said to MJ. 

"You're being silly," she said. They were actually having dinner. One week before finals. They were spending most of the winter break staying at May's. MJ's mom was not doing well with her new boundaries. She said, "I think it's hilarious you think I connect more with people than you do."

"You do," he said. 

"What about that guy? Not the one you dated, I mean, you're still friends with that guy from your freshman year," MJ said. 

He looked down and smiled. "Yeah, that guy. We're so close my wife doesn't even know his name. My wife who's my best friend for years."

MJ shrugged. "That's just because I'm bad with names. Your friends and classmates blend together for me, pasty, pale, really obsessed with mistakes on really bad TV shows."

"I don't like Big Bang Theory either," Peter said. "I think you're thinking of Noah."

"Yes," MJ said. "Noah, you're friends with Noah. I like him."

"We don't have a class together this year. Next semester we will. But we just email sometimes. He's super busy," Peter said.

"Yeah, but you barely see Ned, too, that doesn't make you less friends," MJ said. "Maybe it's all the Spider-man you know," she made jazz hands. "Not just your secret identity, I mean, that you're always living on multiple levels."

"I don't think of it like that," Peter said. 

"Maybe not consciously," MJ said. 

Peter rubbed the scars on his wrist. "I swear, the TA saw these today and looked at me like, I thought he thought it was something else. And he said 'did someone try to chop your hand off?' I was like, exactly. Then I made a joke about a lab accident. I can't wait until it fades away."

MJ reached out and held his wrist. She said, "Do you want to tell me about it? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"I'm not," he said. 

"You were upset about your lack of connection, then you segued badly into talking about one of your big traumas, I don't think I'm making this up," MJ said. She let go of him and walked around cleaning up their take out food. 

"I have a lot of big traumas," Peter said, smiling. "I'm doing fine."

"Yeah, one follows the other," MJ said. "Right in line. One foot after the other."

Peter sighed. "You know how it went. I don't need to talk about it."

"I saw the aftermath," MJ said. 

Peter got up, walked two steps and sat down on the couch. He reached for his laptop, but he didn't open it. "I don't think it's going to be as therapeutic as you think."

"I don't think it's going to be therapy, or therapy adjacent, I think it will help you focus on things you should be talking about in therapy, dude," MJ said as she walked over and sat on his lap. He wrapped his hands around her waist. She hugged him, her arms around his neck, cradling his head. 

Peter said, "All I remember, you know? You know, I don't even remember how he got me." MJ hummed. Peter said, "But I woke up in pain, it was so much pain. My arms were stretched up and it smelled so bad. So bad. You'd think deranged killers would be into cleanliness. That guy wasn't. Also, so much blood. That was mostly it. I mean, what I remember is the pain, like, it was so bad." 

"Well, some deranged guy tried to redo the Jesus on the cross on you," MJ said. 

"I wasn't hanging. I was on my back. My arms were up, not straight out," Peter said. "And then he was trying to chop off my hand, saw off my hand. And I thought, well, if you live through this and don't pass out, once your arm is free, maybe you can get out. So stupid. Poke him with the stump."

Peter leaned into MJ's chest. "And then I heard Rhodey and Tony arrive. There you go." 

Then he was too tired to study. He didn't sleep well either. 

It got worse, actually. He would remember all the split second moments, like how much it hurt when he had tried to move, realizing that someone had pinned both of his feet and his gut. He remembered recovering, in a haze. May sat next to him for hours, reading or talking to distract him. 

Sitting in class, he leaned forward to force himself to focus. He walked out of class after it ended very dissatisfied. He saw Rhodey and grinned. Rhodey hugged him and Peter hugged back. "Good to see you, kiddo," Rhodey said. "Your wife called me. And isn't that weird to say to a twenty year old."

"Yeah, it was reckless and short-sighted but she's pretty great," Peter said. "She called you?"

"Hey, I love visiting the alma mater," Rhodey said. He looked around smiling. "I met Tony my very first day here. He had the room next to mine, even though I was just starting and he was a senior."

"I'm not graduating in three years, you can't make me," Peter said. 

"I don't want you to, you can rush your other life decisions all you want," Rhodey said. "Michelle said you don't remember that whole incident when you were sixteen but it's bothering you."

"I remember enough to know that's pretty common on anniversaries. It was a few days ago. Worst Christmas ever in the medbay," Peter said. "So you drove up to tell me all about the crap I forgot?"

Rhodey patted Peter's shoulder. "Exactly. Let's do it over a meal I pay for."

"Sounds appetizing," Peter said, tugging at his backpack straps. 

Rhodey was nice enough to wait until they were halfway through their meal to start on his MJ ordered walk to remember. "You don't remember how you got there, right?"

Peter said, "I don't. I assume that's a great story."

"Short. It's a very short story," Rhodey said. "Looks like he had a young guy he almost nearly killed until you got close to save him. Then he killed the guy, threw him off the building and took you out with a cattle prod when you went to save him."

"I'm okay forgetting that," Peter said. 

"What else, what else? Do you remember that you'd actually freed one of your feet?"

"By freed you mean nearly ripped in two? That's great, no," Peter said. 

"You, uh, it was a tough recovery. I know you got that freaky healing factor, but it took a day to kick in. Probably because you were in shock. That had May and Tony having heart attacks," Rhodey said. He ate more of his lunch.

"But not you," Peter said. 

"It took me a while to warm up to you," Rhodey said. Peter knew he was lying. 

"You cried when you thought I was dead, I have witnesses," Peter said.

"Died? You were gone for six months, when you were snapped? What’s that idiot thing they call it? Blip. Six months is a blip," Rhodey said. "It was a catastrophe."

"Also in the past," Peter said. 

"Yup," Rhodey said. He paused and looked away and then back at Peter. "How's the marriage?"

"Good," Peter said. He went back to his meal. He was somehow still hungry. "She's calling people to make me remember all the awful incidents of my life. That's support."

"It's nice," Rhodey said. "She's great. I don't know about marrying at twenty great."

"How would you know?" Peter felt what had to be a psychosomatic itch on the top of his foot. "You've never married."

"Oh, ouch," Rhodey said. "Not everyone has to get married."

"Sorry. I totally agree. That was mean," Peter said. "But I did. I just really love her." The actual explanation was ridiculous. Peter had let himself fall into an absurd sitcom plot. He didn't let himself fall, he did it, he chose to do it because he'd never really gotten over MJ and he chose the stupidest choice to get back together with her. That wasn't something he would ever say to Rhodey. Maybe not even to Tony if he'd lived. He was sure he would confess to May someday. He was hoping to hold that off until they were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. 

"I believe you," Rhodey said. "Still weird."

"Thank you for the judgment," Peter said. "And lunch."

He had five million things to do after that and he didn't even get home until shortly after midnight. But he slept really well. MJ was still there when he woke up. 

"You ratted me out to Rhodey," he said while he got dressed. 

"Are you actually upset or just teasing me? It's too early for me to tell," MJ said. She was barely dressed. It was pretty hot. 

"I'm teasing," Peter said. "I did sleep great. Thank you." He started searching for his socks. 

"Oooh, bend over again," MJ said. "Stay bent over. Try to twerk. Make your wife happy."

He wiggled his butt badly, intentionally. "Is that enough?" He laughed. "I gotta go to class."

"Sure," MJ said. "Fine, put on your stupid Captain America socks." She threw them at him. 

They both did well on all their finals and projects. "Drive me home to your aunt's new condo," MJ said. 

Thankfully, May and MJ were back to getting along. He hated when they didn't. Not that he loved when they were sitting around talking about him. Even though MJ said, "This is not a case of passing along Mommy duties. This is not who takes care of baby Petey. We're equals."

"Got it," Peter said.

"That's the way we do it," May said. "But I am still your aunt and I will tell you to clean up your room."

"You heard her, kiddo," MJ said. 

"Don't call me kiddo," Peter said.

"Boner killer, huh? I'll remember that," MJ said. 

Christmas went fine. MJ's mom was a little better with boundaries so MJ skyped with her for the present opening. The day after Christmas it was just Peter and May and MJ and Happy. "You know, maybe we can look for a new place in January," Peter said. "I wouldn't mind an actual room for studying. The heater in our apartment sucks, too. It's either too hot or it's the three hour wait for it to warm up."

"And your money rolls over, right? Isn't that what you were saying?" MJ curled deeper into the couch. 

Happy said, "Your money? The yearly payout."

"Yeah," Peter said. "I thought, the last time I talked to the money guy, he said I'd used up most of the money for the year. But then it's January. So new year."

Happy huffed, like usual. "Kid, that money guy works for you, his entire job is taking care of your quarter billion."

"What, what?" MJ sat up. "You said --"

"No, it's not near a billion, it's sixty million, it's just that much," Peter said. "That's what I thought. Isn't that what you told me?"

"I wouldn't have told you that, because it's not true. It was around two hundred and twenty five million dollars a few years ago," Happy said. "You got more than me."

"Ouch," MJ said. "Also, Peter, who told you the amount? Or did you hear something, and then decide what the number was that made you most comfortable?"

"I'm not comfortable with this," Peter said.

"The point is," Happy said. "You can get concierge service. Go to the money guy and ask him to deal with the realtor and find you a place."

"You can do that?" MJ poked Peter in the leg.

"That's how we got this place," May said. "Honestly, why would you say Peter got more than you? Don't be tacky."

"It's true," Happy said. 

"Because you worked for Tony for so many years you already had your salary and pension and stock and random gifts," May said. "It wasn't a sign that Peter was more loved. It's not a contest."

"Which Peter won," MJ said. 

"Two hundred million dollars," Peter said. He was sure it wasn't that much. He'd been sure. That was way too much money. 

"Two hundred twenty five million, honey," MJ said. "Wow, what kind of heart attack did that guy have when you told him you were married?"

"He was very, he wasn't thrilled," Peter said. "I had to sign so many forms adding you as a beneficiary. That's unrelated." He laughed a little. "Unrelated, ha."

"Aww, MJ, you're taking money from me," May said. "So much money."

"Well, only if Peter dies," MJ said. "I don't want him to. I don't want you to die, honey." She actually snuggled up to him. 

"I redid my will, too, and my life insurance," Peter said. "The money guy was very insistent on that. He kept trying to call you Mrs. Parker, that was a little funny."

"I'm not taking your name, like, ever," MJ said. 

"I don't want you to," Peter said. He sighed. "Okay, fine. Happy, can you come with me to the money guy? I think I need back up."

"Good plan," MJ said. "Should I come? I'll dress up. I'll dress down. I'll get a bunch of tattoos."

"Sure," Peter said. "I'll email him right now. I hope they work over the holidays."

"Of course they do, they have to do tax dodges and stuff like that," Happy said. "Not illegal tax dodges, but they do a bunch of things to reduce your tax bill."

"It's a busy life, managing Peter's quarter of a billion dollars," MJ said. 

"Please stop saying that," Peter said. 

So he went to the money guy with his entourage. He kind of felt like an asshole when he was in his jeans and an MIT sweatshirt while every single person he saw at the office was dressed like formal bank people. 

He got handed three different reports he didn't want to ever read. MJ took all three and started singing "no romance without finance" softly. She had a great voice. "Got to have a J-O-B if you want to be with me," she continued. 

"MJ," Peter said, tapping her knee. 

"He wants the concierge thing," Happy said, laughing a little. "They need a new place. Two bedroom in Somerville."

"Or three," Peter said. "We probably both need a study room. And a bathtub. It would be really nice to have a bathtub."

"So nice," MJ said. She was still flipping through the reports. "ESG, that means these stocks are sustainable, right? Or they're not evil."

"How are you defining evil?" The money guy was very placid. "ESG, yes, it's sustainable. There's a number of other, uh, metrics we apply, following the late Mr. Stark's requests."

"Oh, that's cool," Peter said. "I really just want a new apartment. Ours is too tiny. And maybe we could get a cat? That's not necessary. But if it would be possible to get a cat."

"I'll make the calls and someone will be contacting you," Money guy said. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Nah," MJ said. "Right, honey? We just want a slightly better place. And only to rent."

"Exactly," Peter said. "We don't want to buy anything."

"Real estate is a good investment," Happy said. 

"Yeah, but I don't want to be a landlord after we graduate and I don't really like Cambridge or Somerville," MJ said.

"What she said," Peter said. "Also, I don't want to take up too much of your time."

The concierge service called the next day. Peter listed off his requirements and the ones MJ had brought up. Three days later they had a place and the service even hired a moving company for them. "What about your Spider-man stuff?" MJ frowned. "It's weird we're basically going home to our new place."

"Weird but convenient. And I keep the suit with me, both of them." 

MJ nodded.

Helpfully, the place was great. They each had a study room, Peter had a great window to sneak in and out of. 

He was still only Spider-man two nights a week. Everyone assumed he was a college student so he got a lot of snide remarks about how he must be going to Harvard. It was so annoying. He had to hold himself back from correcting them. Once he actually did say, "No, but my wife does." But it was after he'd punched the guy out. Who deserved it. 

He made sure to hang out with Noah. "My married friend," Noah said. "She's smart."

"She is," Peter said. "But we don't have to talk about it."

"Man, thank you," Noah said. "I'm just, I don't get it. You know, romance."

"It's not for everyone," Peter said. "What I want to hear about it is that game you got uploaded on Steam."

Noah grinned and rocked forward. "It's so cool. Let me walk you through it --"

It was totally gripping. It was the best part of his week. One of the best parts. He called Ned and told him about it, and then they both played the game which was also awesome. MJ sat down behind him and read her book leaning on his back. "Married a total nerd," MJ sang. 

"You can play, too," Peter said. 

"Ha, ha, no. Also, I would beat both of you and you would be sad. PS, you should call your friend James Rhodes, he would also beat your ass in this game."

It was a good semester overall. He and Noah hung out, he got a lot of research done, got excellent grades, stayed married. 

He and MJ both got summer internships, though only MJ's was paid. "Somebody's got to work in this relationship. We both know you're just going to get another degree after you graduate."

"You could do that, too," Peter said. 

"Yes, but I don't want to," MJ said. "I need to work and do. I've been a student all my life. Now is the socially acceptable time even for me."

"I've been a student all my life," Peter said.

"Not really, you've been working since you were fourteen. Spider-man is work," MJ said. 

"Huh, you're right," Peter said. 

He was still very tired of all the people at work who just assumed he went to Harvard. Nearly three years of it. He had two guys he'd rather easily subdued and they had both called him Harvard boy. "Why don't any of you think I could be going to Tufts? How about Berklee? No one thinks I'm a college student and secret musician? Should I sing?"

"Shut the fuck up, man," Ruffian number one said. 

"And Iiiii will always looooooooooove you," Peter sang while webbing up both guys. 

"Now we know you don't go to Berklee," Ruffian number two said. 

"I could play an instrument!" Peter flipped over to land on a street light. "Look, those webs are going to dissolve and then you'll be able to get down. Use this time to think. I checked, there are fifty seven colleges and universities here in Boston. Boston University. M.I.T. Bunker Hill Community College."

"Why would you leave New York City to attend community college in Boston?"

"You don't know my circumstances, I could be married. I could have family that moved here," Peter said. 

"No one gets married in college," Ruffian number two said. "Unless she's pregnant."

"That's not true," Peter said. 

"Fuck, dude, call the cops, okay? Just go back to fucking Tufts and leave us alone."

"No, no, we need less police, more jobs, more housing, and more social workers," Peter said.

"You fucking go to Harvard, you say shit like that," Ruffian number one said. "Social justice bullshit."

Peter webbed his mouth shut. "There's nothing bullshit about social justice." He made sure the guy could breathe through his nose and that neither guy were straining any muscles. He knew that pain, it wasn't something he wanted to inflict. And definitely not for a few car break-ins. 

The semester ended. MJ invited all her friends over for a party, Peter invited Noah. There were a couple other people he could have invited, maybe, but he didn't want to. Peter, Noah, and two of MJ's friends all ended up in Peter's study room playing the newest iteration of Noah's game. People came and went and at some point Peter heard MJ yawning and shooing people away. Peter sat back and said, "Guys, time to go." 

Peter made sure everyone was sober enough to home. He loaded two people in his car, kissed MJ goodbye, and drove them home. By the time he parked his car and got upstairs, MJ was asleep on her side on their bed. "Hey, girl. Hey, hey, hey, hey." 

MJ splayed her hand out, poking him in the chest. "Please be quiet, please."

"I'm pouting," Peter said. 

"Don't care," MJ said.

They both started working for the summer. It was a much easier schedule than school, though. Ned came to visit. He and MJ got along again. 

Peter was getting used to fitting his whole life around MJ. Who was his wife. It was awesome. None of MJ's bodily functions were a secret to him anymore. It was illuminating. She also no longer had any illusions about his bodily functions. That was a real thing. 

One time MJ actually said, "You masturbate a lot, is that being a man of your age or a spider thing? I tried to google it but there aren't a lot of studies on spiders and masturbation."

MJ noticed how that one went over and then they had a whole argument about Peter not saying anything for days when MJ was being an ass. "How is all of this on me? Maybe don't just talk without thinking? How about that one?" He kind of felt like he'd warned her that this was the shitty way he argued. 

It wasn't a real reason. He brooded a little on the roof and then when back into the apartment. MJ was fuming on the bed. "First," Peter said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was being the asshole I said I would be. Sorry."

MJ said, "Fine." She was glaring at him. "I'm sorry, too. We're both dicks."

"Yes, we are." He sat down across from her and gripped her knees. "I love you. Let's get better."

She looked irritated. "Isn't that a song? That's so cheesy."

"The song is I wanna get better," Peter said. He smiled at her. "You read all the advice columns."

"Sometimes you look so earnest I just want to grab your ears and pull them off."

"Really?"

MJ smiled a little. "Sometimes. But I like your ears. Your stupid goofy ears."

"That doesn't hurt my feelings. I'm being honest. I don't feel like a perv when you say that," he said.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like a perv. I really don't mind that you jerk off a lot," MJ said. "It makes sense. You know, dicks versus what I have."

"I don't think I jerk off more than the normal amount," Peter said. "Blame society, if you have to, because of, like, weird gender attitudes about masturbation."

"Point," MJ said. "Um. Okay, I will try to think before I speak."

"No, not like that," Peter said. "I just want you to, I want you to pay attention when you say stuff."

MJ said, "I got it. Let's have sex." It was, again, pretty great sex.

A few weeks later, after they had had sex and before they were asleep, MJ said, "Okay, this might be one of those things I say and you get upset."

"Excited already," Peter said. 

"Do you miss sex with men?"

"Huh," Peter said. "Not upset." He shrugged. "Not really? It's great, yay sex, but we're married. I think I'm more of a relationship person and not a casual sex person."

MJ said, "You haven't had a lot of relationships. I mean, that sounds bad, me neither. Maybe we're only relationship people when we're together."

Peter said, "Well, I hope we don't find out. Like, there's a number of people we could turn into or become, but we're on this road. Not taking off ramps."

MJ nodded. "Okay. That's not how I would put it. I get your message, though. Also, I just want to be super clear. I wasn't asking you because I want to have sex with women again. I just want us to be happy."

"I'm happy," Peter said.

"Me, too." She patted his chest. 

He was out as Spider-man one night and ran into someone enhanced. Bad Guy decided to use his powers for evil. Or at least petty revenge. When Peter found Bad Guy, he was vandalizing a construction site. Peter asked him to stop. Bad Guy roared something and kept going. Peter noted that it was good that Bad Guy wasn't hurting anyone. Bad Guy said, "I'll be waiting when they get here. Everyone will pay."

"You had to go say that," Peter said. 

It wasn't a long fight but it was more bloody than usual. Peter was mostly winning since he had been doing this for a long few years, until Bad Guy grabbed a nail gun and managed a shot right through the top of Peter's foot. He remembered that. 

He didn't remember how the next minute went, but he was standing over a very battered Bad Guy. "Fuck, fuck," he said. He pulled the nail out of his foot. It wasn't even bad. Peter called MJ. She managed to arrive in ten minutes. 

"You didn't have to come, I just wanted to check in," Peter said. He'd already dragged Bad Guy to the street and called an ambulance. Peter was slowly destroying all the cameras in the area and anything that would have showed Spider-man. He really didn't need the bad press. 

MJ said, "Yeah, you sounded great." She looked around. "I think you got all the cameras. Call EDITH, she'll take care of everything else."

He patted her shoulder. "I forget, I forget you know everything." He made that back channel call. EDITH did take care of it, and EDITH also reported that Bad Guy would live. 

MJ said, "Let's go home. I brought clothes for you to change into, I can drive us home."

"I'm fine now, I just wanted to talk to you." He still let her guide him through getting the suit off and putting on the clothes she'd brought. He noticed she'd picked an outfit she liked. "This is what you like me to wear when we go out. Are we going to a bar? We just did that last week on my birthday."

"I thought we'd get some food in that nice diner where they know me."

Peter shook his head. "You want me to have an alibi?"

"I just think it's a good idea. You've been very close to being revealed more than once in the past, everything we can do to diminish suspicion is a good idea," MJ said. She was being very brisk and efficient. Out of nowhere when they got in the car she grabbed his hand and kissed his wedding ring. "Bad boys for life, right?"

"I think you've told me at least a thousand times that I am not a bad boy," Peter said. He reached for the micellar Trader Joe's towelettes and cleaned his face and hands. "Okay, if we're off to eat, any visible bruises?"

She glanced over at him. "You look okay." When they got to the diner, she waved at a waitress she recognized. "Hey, Lilo!" 

Peter said, as he sat down across from her, "The guy lived."

"You usually don't beat them to the point where it's important you tell me he's still alive," she said, also smiling. 

"It was a sixty second freak out. He, he --" Peter stopped as Lilo came over to get their orders. 

MJ turned on her charm, Peter laughed at the right places. Lilo walked away and then came back with their coffees. After she left again, Peter said, "He shot me in the foot with a nail gun. I think I can call that a trigger."

"Sure," MJ said. "Absolutely. And Peter, you could have killed him. We both know it. He's alive, you held back. Even triggered. You're a good guy, you do your best."

Peter nodded. "I hate the feeling, though. I hate it."

"Me, too," she said, softly. "But we're married, you know. We do this for life."

"You're trying to reassure me," Peter said, smiling. "That's sweet."

"Is it not reassuring? I think of it that way. When I get really stressed or I'm sad, I think but I have Peter. He's my husband," she said. 

"Bad boys for life," Peter said.

She shrugged. "You're right, one bad boy, one good boy. Bad person. Bad woman."

He held her hand. "Thanks for coming out to protect me. I love you."

"You're adorable," MJ said. 

They made it to their one year anniversary.


End file.
